Barry Gibb Rides a Roller Coaster

Russell Brand & Jonathan Ross are in trouble

Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross are in a lot of trouble after ringing up Fawlty Towers actor Andrew Sachs leaving messages on his phone saying Russell slept with his granddaughter.

Andre Sachs said: 'We are a loving family and the whole thing is fairly unpleasant. But all the attention is on those two fellows. I am also getting a lot of attention of course and am hurt and angry by the whole thing. But I am not as hurt and angry as my granddaughter, who is very upset by the whole thing. The real focus should be on the harm they have done to her.'

4,775 listeners have complained about the prank already.

Tory MP John Whittingdale, chairman of the Commons Media Select Committee, said: 'What is more troubling is that this part of the radio programme went through editorial checks and balances that are meant to stop this from happening. This is the latest in a succession of appalling incidents from both comics. They seem to repeatedly cause offence and get away with it.'

 

 

The Lost Son

A guy was in a supermarket when he noticed an old lady following him around. Whenever he stopped, she stopped, and she also kept staring at him. She finally overtook him just before the checkout where she turned to him and said:

"I hope I haven't made you feel uncomfortable - it's just that you look so much like my late son."

"Oh, that's ok," he said.

"I know it's silly," she continued, "but if you called out 'Goodbye, Mother' as I leave, it would make me ever so happy." The old lady proceeded through the checkout and as she left the supermarket, the man called out "Goodbye Mother." The old lady waved back, and kindly smiled.

Pleased he had brought a bit of sunshine to someone's day the man went to pay for his groceries.

"That'll be 105 dollars 35," said the clerk.

"How come?" inquired the man. "I've only bought a few things!"

"Yeah, but your mother said you'd pay for her..."

Ansi hressilega skondin Ford bílauaglysing

Smá hlátur

HVAÐ er Bill Cosby að segja ?

Muscular Man

A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender hands him the beer and says "You know, I'm not gay but I want to compliment you on your physique, it really is phenomenal! I have a question though, why is your head so small?" The big guy nods slowly. He's obviously fielded this question many times. "One day," he begins, "I was hunting when I got lost in the woods. I heard someone crying for help and finally realized that it was coming from a frog sitting next to a stream. So I picked up the frog and it said "Kiss me and I will turn into a genie and grant you 3 wishes." So I looked around to make sure I was alone and gave the frog a kiss. POOF! The frog turned into a beautiful, voluptuous, naked woman. She said, "You now have 3 wishes." I looked down at my scrawny 115 pound body and said, "I want a body like Arnold Schwarzenneger." She nodded, whispered a spell, and POOF! there I was, so huge that I ripped out of my clothes and was standing there naked! She then asked, "What will be your second wish?" I looked hungrily at her beautiful body and replied, "I want to make sensuous love with you here by this stream." She nodded, laid down, and beckoned to me. "We then made love for hours!" Later, as we lay there next to each other, sweating from our glorious lovemaking, she whispered into my ear, "You know, you do have one more wish. What will it be?" I looked at her and replied, "How about a little head?"

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Kolfinna klikk

Jói

Tveir sveitalubbar, Jói og Siggi, sáu að þeir voru komnir á endastöð í
lífinu og ákváðu að fara í skóla til að komast eitthvað áfram.
 
Þeir byrja á því að fara til námsráðgjafa og Jói fer inn fyrstur.
Námsráðgjafinn ráðleggur Jóa að taka stærðfræði, sögu og rökfræði. "Hvað er
rökfræði?" spyr Jói. Námsráðgjafinn svarar: "Leyfðu mér að koma með dæmi.
Áttu sláttuvél?" "Hana á ég," svarar Jói. "Þá geri ég ráð fyrir; og nota
rökfræði, að þú eigir garð," svarar námsráðgjafinn. "Mjög gott," segir Jói
hrifinn. Námsráðgjafinn hélt áfram, "rökfræðin segir mér líka, að fyrst þú
átt garð, þá áttu líka hús." Yfir sig hrifinn hrópar Jói: "FRÁBÆRT!" "Og
fyrst þú átt hús, þá má jafnvel giska á að þú eigir konu." "Hana Mæju!
Þetta er ótrúlegt!" "Og að lokum, fyrst þú átt konu, þá er rökrétt að gera
ráð fyrir að þú sért gagnkynhneigður," segir námsráðgjafinn. "Það er alveg
hárrétt! Þetta er það magnaðasta sem ég hef nokkurn tíma heyrt! Ég get ekki
beðið eftir að byrja í rökfræði."
 
Að því búnu fer Jói fram þar sem Siggi bíður ennþá. "Hvaða fög tekurðu?"
spyr Siggi. "Stærðfræði, sögu og rökfræði," svarar Jói. "Hvað í veröldinni
er rökfræði?" spyr Siggi. "Leyfðu mér að koma með dæmi. Áttu sláttuvél?"
spyr Jói.
 
"Nei."
 
"Þá ertu hommi"