Klassík

They Taxed ME!

A little old lady was going a bit senile. She got to xmas and realised she didn't have enough money for presents for her grandchildren, so she wrote a letter adressed to God London Office.

Dear God,

Due to the fact there has been no substantial pension increase AGAIN! I find myself a little short for buying christmas presents for my grandchildren. I wonder if you could help me out and send me £500.

With Love
Agnes

When the London sorting office read the letter they passed it to downing street and eventually Tony Blair got it.Feeling a little guilty at the next cabinet meeting he had a whip round for the old woman and got £250 which was sent to the old woman. Three weeks later God was sent this reply

Dear God,

Thank you ever so much for the money, I know you sent me £500 but Tony blair and his robbing swines taxed me 50%, but the kids got presents anyway!

Agnes

Sorry

X 2

Hannes Hólmsteinn stand-up grínisti

Vont fyrst

( Gamall en traustur ) UNITED AIRLINES AGENT !!!

 United AirlinesAgent at Gate 14 in the Denver Airport


It happened at the Denver  Airport. This is hilarious. I wish I had the guts of this girl. An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denverfor being smart and funny, while making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo. For all of you out there who have had to deal with an irate customer, this one is for you.


A crowded United Airlines flight was canceled. A single agent was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly, an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS."


The agent replied, "I'm sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first and then I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."


The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?"


Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. "May I have your attention, please?", she began, her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Gate 14".


With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth, and said, " F *** You!". Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry sir, you'll have to get in line for that, too."

Valentines Day Card

A woman went to the mall to buy Valentine's Day cards for her son and father.

The 50 feet of displays for hundreds of cards astounded her.

She muttered out loud, "I wonder if they have anything for ex-husbands."

The clerk behind the counter said, "Oh, yes m'am, they do, but they're in Sporting Goods."

"Really?" exclaimed the woman.

"Yes m'am. They're called darts."

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