Nærjur

Vínk í punginn !!!!

Paris hélt að Ramsay væri forsetisráðherra Englands : )

Paris Hilton has become the laughing stock of the U.K. after claiming fiery Hell’s Kitchen star Gordon Ramsay is the Prime Minister of Britain.

PC

Besta Auglysing 2009 ?

"The Truth"

At school, a boy is told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth” -- even when you don't know anything.

The boy decides to go home and try it out. As he is greeted by his mother at the front door he says, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don't tell your father.”

Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don't say a word to your mother.”

Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day, when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.”

The mailman drops the mail, opens his arms and says, “Then come give your dad a big hug.”

Ást

Skondið bréf frá stúlku til móður sinnar

 

Nokkrir stuttir

A supermodel orders a pizza and the waiter asks if he should cut it into six or twelve pieces. She says, "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
 

What do supermodels and beer bottles have in common? Both are empty from the neck up.

What did the supermodel say when she found out she was pregnant? "Are you sure it's mine?"

What do you call a supermodel with two brain cells? Pregnant.

What does a group of supermodels have in common? Nothing they can think of.

Why was the supermodel happy that she finished a jigsaw puzzle in only six months? Because on the box, it said "3-6 years."

Why did the supermodel climb over the chain-link fence? She wanted to see what was on the other side.

The Farmer

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway, it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quietened down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.


Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.

3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less

NOW --------

Enough of that crap . .

The donkey later came back and bit the shit out of the farmer who had tried to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected, and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.

MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON

When you do something wrong and try to cover your ass, it always comes back to bite you.

"Politicians And God"

"Politicians And God"

What's the difference between a politician and God? God doesn't think he's a politician.