SPECIAL 1 TV (EP08) Cabbageman Gets His Dream Lapdance

The Ant And The Elephant

 

 

An ant and an elephant share a night of romance. The next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead.

"Damn!" says the ant. "One night of passion and I will spend the rest of my life digging a grave!"

Rússneskir stúdentar taka JACKASS sér til fyrirmyndar

Schwarzenegger Goes Classical

A movie producer had called together several big name celebs to kick some ideas around. The project was an action docu-drama about famous composers featuring Stallone, Van Damme, and Schwarzenegger in the leading roles.

The producer really wanted the box office "oomph" of these three, and was prepared to allow them to select what famous composers they would portray.

"Well," started Stallone, "I've always admired Mozart. I would love to play him." "Chopin has always been my favorite," said Van Damme, I'll play him."

Things were going well, the producers were pleased. "Sounds splendid. And who do you want to be, Arnold?" "I'll be Bach." replied Arnold.

FIRST

Spurning um að finna sér nýtt sport !

Billy Bob Thornton í viðtali já ef viðtal mætti kalla , þetta fer um netið eins og sinueldur

Ástæðan fyrir því að karlmenn elska .......

WHITE WOMEN

First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.

Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.

Third date: You get to have sex, but only in the missionary position.

 

IRISH WOMEN

First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

 

ITALIAN WOMEN

First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.

Second Date : You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti and meatballs.

Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you and insists on a 3-carat ring.

5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together and hate the thought of having sex.

6th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend.

 

JEWISH WOMEN

First Date: You get dynamite oral sex.

Second Date: You get more great oral sex.

Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and you never get oral sex again.

 

CHINESE WOMEN

First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner, but nothing happens.

Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again.

Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you already realized nothing is going to happen.

 

INDIAN WOMEN

First date: Meet her parents.

Second date: Set the date of the wedding.

Third date : Wedding night.

 

BLACK WOMEN

First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.

Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.

Third Date: You get to pay her rent.

Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you.

 

MEXICAN WOMEN

First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on tequila, and have sex in the back of her car.

Second Date: She's pregnant.

Third Date: She moves in. One week later, her mother, father, his girlfriend, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her father's girlfriend's mother, her two cousins, her sister's boyfriend and his three kids move in ... and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along the Rio Grande.

 

The POINT?

DON'T YOU JUST LOVE IRISH WOMEN?

Bruno

 

A DURPITY DING DONG