RIP JD Salinger

 

January 1, 1919 – January 28, 2010

Salinger famously didn’t let Hollywood get its greasy paws on The Catcher in Rye.

 

Alice In Wonderland og Avril Lavigne

 

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Ok!
"Yes! They're Together Again."
Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston "reunited" backstage at the Hope For Haiti Now telethon. Jen was talking with her old neighbors Cindy Crawford and Rande Gerber, when Brad walked up an joined in. "Though their exchanged seemed casual, friends say Jen's warm reception filled Brad with emotion, as he has been struggling for weeks with memories of his ex-wife and the future they might have had together." And! A "pal" says: "He's driving himself crazy with idea that breaking up with Jen was the biggest mistake of his life." Actually, the ones being driven crazy with the idea are the people who write this stuff! The pal continues: "He's obsessed with her. She seems to be all he thinks about all the time." Oh, and Brad was so concerned about looking good for Jen that he even considered shaving his beard before the telethon! By the way, Shiloh dresses like a dude because she and Brad are "best buds" and she "tries to emulate Daddy's style." Meanwhile, Maddox has a crush on Kim Kardashian  and thinks she is the "hottest girl." The cover screams, "Kristen Talks To Ok!" — really? After you claimed she was engaged to Sparklevamp? Anyway, inside there's a short quote from Ms. Stewart…about Joan Jett. Finally: Sources say Britney Spears is depressed and not eating; the mag asks if she is "headed for a major meltdown"?

 

Life & Style
"Surgery Gone Wrong."
We appreciate that Brad and Angie (or Jen) are not on this cover. But instead, this story which is a compilation of other stories about Heidi Montag from the last 2 weeks, is a yawn. And the "new photos" are not new. Here's what else is inside: Brad and Jen "steered clear" of each other on camera at the telethon, and "some sources say that they never crossed paths." But! Other sources say they did. Ian Halperin, who wrote that unauthorized book about "Brangelina," says: "it's going to play out exactly like the Madonna split. When the reps denied it, and then months later, the couple announced the split. My sources inside the house say Brad and Angelina sleep in separate bedrooms. Romantically, there's no doubt they're over." Next: Justin Timberlake requested to present with Kate Hudson at the SAG awards, the lady whom he reportedly hooked up with — on more than one occasion — during his relationship with Jessica Biel. At the Hope For Haiti telethon, he was spotted "mingling" with Cameron Diaz. Later he went with Jessica Biel to a Radiohead show and they were seen making out. So. Jennifer Garner has dropped a few dress sizes. "She's a size 0 now," says an insider. "She used to be a 6." There's no word on whether this is bad or good. Lastly, words of wisdom from Brooke Hogan: "Whoever invented Photoshop was a genius. But it sets a bad example for what healthy is. We've gotten way out of hand."

In Touch
"How Jen Split Them."
This story was so inconsistent. The mag claims that Jennifer Aniston "came between" Brad and Angie, but then calls on that Waldorf-Astoria housekeeper, Anna Kowalski, who says of Brad and Angie: "I didn't even think they were pretending to be together. From what I have seen, they sleep in separate rooms, and behave like friends, not lovers." Or maybe they're not into making out in front of the housekeeper? Still, the mag claims that Brad and Jen "stole a few minutes together backstage" at the Hope For Haiti telethon. And then there's this: (Color commentary from us in bold)

 

After the show, the pair met up again, parking their cars next to each other in a secluded spot (LOL) — and having a heart-to-heart conversation during which their true feelings (LOL) emerged. "Brad went into Jen's car, and it was very romantic," hints a friend of Jennifer's, adding that the pair spent around 30 minutes "wrapped in each others' arms." After a brief stroll (in the parking lot?), Brad then escorted Jen back to her car and hugged her goodbye."

 

On the next page, there's a picture of Jen on a park bench, a picture of Brad on a different park bench, a picture of a random SUV and a picture of Shiloh and Zahara, with a cockamamie story about how Jen met Brad and Shiloh one day in March in Central Perk Park — a landmark which hosts approximately twenty-five million visitors each year, and somehow we're JUST finding out about this. Also inside: Britney Spears has "less money, more problems." The captions on this picture of Brit coming from the gym are plain rude: "After working out at the gym, Britney didn't change her shirt." THE HORROR. The mag also says she looks "like a bum." Nice. Tom and Katie have reportedly spent about $3.2 million on clothes for Suri Cruise since her birth in 2006. For instance: Her pink ruffled dress was $1,130; her red ballet slippers were $128. Her polka dot heels were a bargain at $40. Next, Bradley Cooper is planning on proposing to Renee Zellweger, maybe on Valentine's Day — he was seen in a jewelry store! Relationship expert Jill Spiegel, who does not know these people, says since they both split from their spouses in less than six months "they could be repeating the same patterns… They could burn out fast."

 

Star
"Jen Tells Brad: 'I'll Take You Back!'"
Brad heard about Angelina's reported affair with her dialect coach (does he read In Touch?) and it was the last straw. When he got back to LA from New Orleans, he confronted her. They had a "knock-down, drag-out fight" and a friend says "Brad was in tears over it all. He couldn't stand to look at her." The mag writes: "He tore out of the house to think things over and drink the pain away." Sure he didn't storm off? Anyway he drove from LA to SF and had dinner and "threw back the booze for hours" before "he decided to turn to the one person who really knows his heart — Jen." A source says: "Around 3am, he broke down and dialed her number. He knew she would console him, like she always did when they were together. Jen calmed him down and told him she would be there for him, no matter what he's going through." After the Hope For Haiti benefit, "Brad and Jen had a coffee break." Is that a euphemism? "They were both smiling and staring at each other lovingly. Jen told Brad that the moment he and Angie make their breakup official, she's ready to try again." Also, Angelina allegedly gave all of her kids Asprey snake pendant necklaces and told them they would be safe as long as they wear them, "no matter what happens to Mommy and Daddy." Moving on. Lady Gaga had a "scary red line" on her arm at a concert in NYC. It looks like a curling iron burn, but Dr. Paul Jarrod Frank, who does not treat her, says it looks like it came from a razor blade or kitchen knife. Next: A friend says that Britney Spears and Jason Trawick are "100% broken up." She dumped him because he was reportedly seen with another chick. Jessica Simpson is dating Taylor Kitsch from Friday Night Lights (and also known for wearing a very small swim team uniform in The Covenant.) Blind item! "Which fame-hungry starlet and her hubby gift publishing people with $5000 Hermes bags to make sure they stay in the headlines? Don't worry, Star can't be bought." Our guesses? Heidi Montag… or the Kardashians. Pink and Carey Hart were on a romantic bike date and Carey was trying to show off for Pink, doing wheelies and tricks — when his shoelace got caught in the pedal and he fell down, with his bike on top of him. Once she made sure he was okay, Pink laughed hysterically. Zac Efron paid off both of his parents mortgages (they're married, but they live separately). Tiger Woods has been diagnosed as not just a sex addict but a LOVE addict. An "insider" says, "Love addicts keep people around for emotional validation." You know how the Times columnist declared that Courteney Cox was curvier than usual at the Golden Globes? Well, it's because she is 45 and pregnant, says Star. She's three months along and someone from Cougartown says she got IVF in November. Lastly: Kourtney Kardashian's ex is demanding a paternity test, because he thinks he's the father of Mason. Michael Girgenti says they had sex for an hour and describes the encounter thusly: "She was a wonderful lover and very beautiful. We didn't use any protection — she didn't ask me about it, and I was too caught up in the moment to think about it."

Us
"Brad's Misery."
Here's all you really need to know about Brad and Angie: "Is it over? For now, no." The mag also declares: " Brad and Jen reunite!" And then clarifies: "Well, sorta." The Hope for Haiti telethon was a "highly choreographed logistical dance" and Brad and Jen "almost came face to face." As for Angie and Brad: "they've been fighting more and more" and "they'll split eventually." She's a perfectionist and a control freak; he's laid back yadda yadda yadda. They have bitter fights and then hot make-up sex. In any case, Brad will soon begin pre-production for the film The Lost City Of Z, for which he grew his "much-maligned beard." In a sidebar, there are photographs of the Jolie-Pitt kids, with descriptors for each,  and a source says of 18-month-old Vivienne: "She's a thinker." Moving on: Jessica Simpson was in a business meeting for her denim line when she farted loudly. Alicia Keys is "secretly engaged" to Swizz Beatz. Lastly: There's a Teen Mom update in the issue: Catelynn's engaged to Tyler; Amber is working at a tanning salon with flexible hours; Maci and Ryan have split for good — and Maci wants to write a book about being 16 and pregnant. As for Farrah, she wouldn't talk about her mother allegedly assaulting her, but says of baby Sophia: "She's started to talk. She says Hi and Mama."

NYC

Empire corolla by Several Seconds

Brad Pitt og Angelina Jolie loksins hætt saman.

 

Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt Split / Separate / Divorce

Brangelina no more:-(

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are splitting up for good (we’d say they were getting divorced but they were never married!).

It’s a fact. We’re sad. They were such a great couple.

Brangelina have now seen divorce lawyers and have signed a $330 million deal to split assets. Stay tuned for more details as they arrive.

Facts we know:

- Legal documents for the split were signed in early January
- The former couple is preparing an official announcement of their separation
- They will receive joint custody of the kids
- The kids will live full time with Angelina Jolie
- They will split their fortune right down the middle: equal

PC

Robert Downey Jr. og Beyonce eru sögð þau sem Nick Cassavettes’ vill fá til að leika í endurgerð af kvkmyndinni A Star Is Born

 are tipped to take the lead roles in Nick Cassavettes’ remake of the 1930s cinema classic A Star Is Born, Deadline Hollywood reported Friday.

First released in 1937, the musical has been remade for the silver screen twice; once with Judy Garland and James Mason in 1957 and a second time with Barbra Streisand and Kris Kristofferson in 1976. Will Smith and Jennifer Lopez were linked to a abandoned remake planned by director Joel Schumacher.

John Hamm, Alicia Keys and Rihanna are rumored to appear in the Cassavettes feature. A Star Is Born is expected to dance into theaters in 2012.

PC

Joaquin Phoenix loksins farinn að líta eðlilega út , vonandi að detta í gírinn og koma til baka

The last time we left Joaquin Phoenix, he was looking like something you might find stuck on one of the Kardashian's used waxing strips. And he was also doing that "rapping as performance art" thing. This was a few months ago. Well, Joaquin took a long Calgon bath and danced a beautiful dance with a BIC. Joaquin is now back to looking like the dude you used to flick your genitals to while watching Ladder 94. Joaquin joined Liv Tyler and Noah Cyrus' less famous sister in a promo for To Write Love on Her Arms, a suicide prevention organization. It's nice to see hot Joaquin again, but I'm not sure it was a good idea pairing him with Miley Cyrus. Miley's voice makes all of us want to crawl under a bridge and live there for the rest of our days.

Manhattan

Photo via broddi's flickr

Mayer

 

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Star
"My New Bikini Body"
It's been one year since Nadya Suleman had 8 kids. She says: "People are like, 'Oh, you must have had some surgery.' No way. I would feel like I cheated! I don't care what other people think, but I wanted to prove that I could do it on my own naturally." She went from 270 lbs (while pregnant) to 120 lbs. And she doesn't seem to have any stretch marks or scarring! She says she isn't wearing any face or eye makeup in the shoot and she also skipped the spray-tanner. "Really, I wanted to show that who you are is enough. You don't need to have surgery or color your skin." As for what happened to those stretch marks, she says: "I used creams with growth hormone to stimulate collagen production. And Vitamin C. That's my secret. I put it on my face, too." It goes on like this for eight pages, (see  for an example) and she talks, in detail, about her workouts and what she eats and the babies. All we can say is DO NOT WANT. Moving on: Renee Zellweger and Bradley Cooper are installing a nursery in their new $4 million home. A friend says, "Renee has been beyond ready to have a baby, and she thinks Bradley would be a fantastic dad. She could get pregnant at any time — if she isn't already!" Watch out! Just walking down the street, it could happen. Jessica Biel is getting "very friendly" with Lupe Fiasco; they both climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro and Lupe is "taken with her." Blind item: "Which actress isn't really such a sweetheart? She recently shredded a pile of clothes her off-again boyfriend had left at her house and sent him a box filled with the scraps." Sean Penn and Tobey Maguire tried to find a lady for Jake Gyllenhaal at a party at Chateau Marmont: "Four model-types walked by, and Sean said, 'Ladies, have you met Jake?' The girls came over, and though Jake was a little shy, Sean and Tobey carried the conversation until he opened up." Tiger Woods has been breaking all the rules in rehab: Sometimes he participates in group therapy and meals with other patients, but most of the time he blows off therapy and stays in his room or hits the gym. He's even left the grounds to visit his mom, who's staying in a hotel nearby. He says he can't wait for it to be over and is doing it for his public image, which is what he cares about most. Rihanna's new man, Matt Kemp, has a violent past: His ex, actress Felisha Terrell, took out a restraining order against him in June 2008. She said: "He is violent and I am afraid." She suffered verbal abuse and threats, and he used his friends to intimidate her. Angelina and Brad got into a "screaming match" over how to discipline the kids. Angie "lost it" and told Brad the kids were hers and he should butt out. Lastly: Lady Gaga is unlucky in love; her only relationship is with her fans

 

 

 

In Touch
"Affair With A Teacher."
A maid named Anna Kowalski, who was fired from the Waldorf-Astoria in December, and was often assigned to Brad and Angie's suite, says that Angelina had an affair with her dialect coach over the summer while she was shooting Salt in NYC. (Brad was at their rented manse on Long Island.) Kowalski says on night she was working late and was asked to come up to the suite and "the room was a disaster. There was water all over the bathroom and empty vodka bottles everywhere… Over five dozen cattlyea orchids were scattered around the room — and the tops of the flowers were in the tub with candles. The bed was covered with black rubber sheets and there were sex toys on it." Kowalski had seen the tutor going up to Angie's room at 10pm that night. Apparently when they first met, Angie told Brad that she'd only ever slept with four people, but "over time, the truth started coming out." The maid also says Angelina never smiles or says thank you. Another insider, who went with Angie on UN excursions, says Angie "slept with people she met on mercy missions." The best kind of charity?!?! Moving along: Jen's "sizzling" look at the Golden Globes was intended for just one person: "ex-hubby Brad Pitt." A "friend" says: "Jen was sending out a clear message to Brad, saying, 'If you don't snap me up, someone else will.'" Another friend says Brad saw Jen on stage with Gerard and felt jealous and made plans to meet up with Jen soon. Next: Britney Spears might be losing it again, because she's been spotted sleeping in her car while Jason Trawick drives around LA aimlessly, "like you do with a baby in order to get them to sleep." Also, Britney was out shopping with a stain on her shirt and chipped nail polish. THE HORROR. She also kept messing with her hair, "the same troubling mannerism just prior to shaving her head." Ina story titled "New Year, New Boobs," Dr. Harry Haramis, surgical director of Sleek Surgical and Med Spa in New York, says it looks like Penelope Cruz may have had breast augmentation. That, or she's pregnant. Some other doctor estimates that Kate Gosselin went from a B cup to a D. Leona Lewis has "the outline of implants." "Serial Date John's Back On The Prowl" is about John Mayer and his latest "heartbroken victim," Kate Hudson. See, John has a habit of "preying" on A-list actresses when they are most vulnerable. John got Kate's digits from a friend and has been wooing her with texts, calls and flowers. A source says John just wants a celeb gf to get more press. In case you haven't been keeping track, Jessica Simpson was victim No. 1; Cameron Diaz No. 2, Jennifer Aniston was No. 3. Finally: Tobey Maguire and his wife arranged a double date with Jake Gyllenhaal and some chick at Chateau Marmont in an effort to fix Jake up. The girl looked like Reese, but her hair was curlier.

Ok!
"My Diet Secrets."
Baby Mason was born December 14th and this is his FOURTH tabloid magazine cover. Even stranger: We still don't care. Anyhoo, Kourtney Kardashian talks about how she designed a limited-edition belly bandit, which is like a wrap you wear on your abs after giving birth; hers is black and lace printed for a "sexy, stylish look." QuickTrim is mentioned in this article because she's basically contractually obligated to talk about it, but she's not taking it right now because she's breastfeeding, and, um, babies don't like QuickTrim or something. Next: Katy Perry asked Rihanna to be a bridesmaid in her wedding to Russell Brand. A source says, "Rihanna replied with a 'yes' and a bombshell: 'I'll be next.'" Taylor Lautner took his ex-girlfriend, Sarah Hicks, who is not famous and just some chick, to Olive Garden in LA and this is news. Finally: Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler are "friends with benefits," according to a source. At the Golden Globes, she felt "proud" standing with Gerry and thinks he might be the man for her after all.

Us
"Kardashians Then And Wow." No new information, but 17 childhood photos of the Kardashian ladies. Kris Jenner says, "From a young age, I taught them about waxing and mani-pedis, and we always made it party!" Moving along: In a move that makes NO SENSE, Marisa Jaret Winokur was fired as the host of Dance Your Ass Off because she was too fat. "The producers were always on her to lose weight." The New York Times had a cocktail party in LA, and Tom and Katie were there… As was Chris Klein, Katie's former fiance. It was awkward, says an attendee. "Chris did his best to have a good time and even smiled and waved at Katie, but it seemed like she couldn't be bothered." Awww. At a pre-party for the Golden Globes, Gerard Butler stopped by Kate Hudson's table and told her she was the most beautiful girl in the room and that he adores her work. (Drunk?) "They had a 20 minute flirt-fest." Brad and Angelina are fighting because Brad likes spending time in New Orleans, but Angelina doesn't. She calls it "his house," even though they both own the place there and complains there's nothing to do. Jessica Simpson and Billy Corgan have broken up, but they were in the studio together when she was working on the theme song for her new show, The Price Of Beauty. A source says, "They're working on being friends."

Life & Style
"Jen's Revenge Body."
Angelina is "tired and bony," so she avoided a "run-in" at the Golden Globes. Jennifer decided to go for a "black and sexy" dress for the awards "only when she discovered that Angelina wasn't attending," says a source. "An earlier choice had been a white asymmetrical Stella McCartney, since she didn't want to go head to head with Angelina and her signature black." As for Angelina, her "thin frame" "wasn't Golden Globes ready." Plus: Jen and Gerard Butler recently posed for a photo shoot for W magazine, that will put Angelina and Brad's "sexy shoot to shame." An "insider" says: "It's the most outrageous thing Jen has ever done! Gerard is dressed as a cop and Jen's just wearing lingerie. It blows away anything Brad and Angelina ever did for W." Moving on: The story titled "We Want To Be A Jolie-Pitt Kid" informs us that when Shiloh and Zahara were at the Waldorf-Astoria in NYC on January 2, they got manicures: both girls got their nails painted like Spider-Man, with alternating red, blue and black polish. "Tomboy Shiloh wasn't so sure about her spa day with Zahara at first," says a source. "I heard the nanny say, 'If you get your nails done, I'll give you a prize.' Shiloh sucked her thumb the whole time." Moving on: Britney has been checking into hotels instead of staying at home; recently she stayed at the Mondrian. She apparently misses the environment of a busy hotel when she stops touring and loves having people around her. She's friendly and talks to everybody and even joked that she would sing at one guest's wedding. She also ordered chicken wings to be delivered to the gym, which you can't do at home! Lindsay Lohan on the cutting rumors: "I've had that scar on my arm for a long time now. It's funny it's just being noticed. I had surgery a while ago for an injury I had when I was younger. Nothing having to do with depression or anything of the sort. Now back off, people. There are more important world issues to focus on." A source says Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are totes in love and "they never fight, they always get along." Plus: "They try to keep everything dark and sexy. They like to sit around and drink wine and talk about philosophy." Lastly, we don't know WTF is going on in this picture but an infant is wearing a gangster suit