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Ok!
"My Body After Baby."
In December, Kendra informed us that she lost 20 pounds in 3 weeks. Now it's 25 pounds in 8 weeks! The weird part is: We still don't care. She looks great, even though we suspect Photoshop shenanigans on the cover, since her thighs are a different shape in the pictures inside. Moving on: Jessica Biel told her Valentine's Day costar Jennifer Garner that she was having trouble getting Justin to commit. "Jen advised her to back off and stop being so clingy," a source says. Among Jen's tips: "Play hard to get by being less available." And "Stop quizzing him about other women." Sounds like someone read The Rules! Lastly, this is a quote from Beyoncé: "Some days the only thing I want to do is is stay in my Uggs and watch Big Love and eat brownies!"

 

Us
"Vienna's Double Life."
Since we don't watch The Bachelor, we don't know exactly what this is all about, but it seems that rumor has it Vienna Girardi might be getting the final rose from bachelor Jake Pavelka. The problem? her ex mother-in-law says "She's not looking for a husband. She's just looking to promote herself." Rare, for a reality TV star! Apparently she used to work at Hooters and compete in bikini contests. She married a Marine named Josh Riley in 2005, and while he was deployed in Iraq, she "drained" their joint bank account of $5,000, to get breast implants. She's generous, though: She also got her mom a tummy tuck and lipo with the cash. Anyway, it goes on like this for a while, but we tuned out after seeing the bikini pix Also inside: "Meet My Manzilla!" is a spread of celeb ladies whose boyfriends/husbands are tall. Lastly, in Tiger Woods news, a source says that Elin Nordegren doesn't want to get divorced like her parents did — "She thinks children need both parents." In addition, the source says: "Elin doesn't see [Tiger] as an awful guy, but a damaged bird. She wants to help him." If you love someone set them free?

Life & Style
"A Baby To Save Their Love."
Apparently when Angelina Jolie flew from LA to Miami, she ate a salad and an ice cream sundae, then watched Julie & Julia. Later she chatted up a fellow passenger and said: "I'm such a squishy mom. I really am just a squishy mom; I can't wait to just be in bed hanging out with them." This anecdote, along with old quotes about "further additions" to the family, creates a "story" with the headline, "A Baby For Brad And Angelina!" The spread is illustrated with a photo of Angie, with her arms up, cheering! Of course, she is at the Super Bowl. But since Brad recently purchased a house, the mag screams, "THEY'RE MAKING ROOM FOR MORE CHILDREN!" Was it only two weeks ago that this same mag L&S's sister mag declared "Yes, It's Over!"? In any case, this article notes that since Angie has to film "steamy thriller" The Tourist, which includes sex scenes with Johnny Depp, she won't be getting pregnant right now. She might adopt, though! Moving on: Lady Gaga is "cracking under pressure" because she has to be "on" all the time. She even went to a bar and played Buck Hunter with no pants on. Kendra cried after her husband's team lost the Super Bowl because the paparazzi wouldn't leave her and the baby alone. Kim Kardashian's boyfriend Reggie Bush didn't propose to her after his team won the Super Bowl, but Kim says, "He never said he would do that." Simon Monjack, Brittany Murphy's widow, tried to organize a "questionable" charity event in his wife's name. Lastly, Fergie lost 17 lbs. and "got the hottest butt."

 

 

In Touch
"Betrayed!"
Basically, Kourtney Kardashian got a text message telling her that her boyfriend and baby daddy Scott Disick was out with Ed Westwick, drinking and flirting with other women. Kourtney was "really upset" and sent Scott a text saying: "Get home now." The story goes on and on with statements like, "Her family never trusted him" and "He loves the fame and fortune." Moving on: A witness named Louise Black — maybe the one from Project Runway? — was sitting "yards" away from the couple at the Super Bowl and says that Angie and Brad were kissing and cheering but "it looked desperate and forced." There's even a subhead here which reads "TOO MUCH SNUGGLING" That's right. When Angie and Brad are not together, it's headlines like "BRAD MOVES OUT" or "THE BREAKUP." But these two kiss in public and it's staged. Also inside: Beyoncé and Jay-Z are "trying to get pregnant." In a shocking exposé, we learn that babies "love their pacifiers". Britney Spears is in a "toxic romance" with her agent, Jason Trawick, who has "almost Svengali-like control" over her personal and professional life and has pushed her to go into the studio even though she just got back from touring 2 months ago. She's in love with him and dreaming about a "big, white" wedding; he is stringing her along. A "source" says: "If he breaks her heart, she could have another mental breakdown." IF and COULD are the operative words here. Breaking: Ashlee Simpson's "old nose is back" (see image 10). Doesn't the 2010 picture look like someone tampered with it? Dr. Steven J. Pearlman was asked to weigh in on the difference between her nose now and her nose in 2006, and he — quite astutely — points out: "The photo of her now is from a straight-on angle, while the one of her in 2006 is a side profile. No nose will look the same from different angles." O RLY? Have you ever wondered to yourself, "Which stars have Lego hair?" Wonder no moreBy the way: Madonna is "already filling out paperwork" to adopt an orphan from Haiti. Lastly, Debbie Gibson is turning 40, but says she feels sexier than ever.

Star
"It's On… Again!"
Jennifer Aniston spent her birthday weekend with Gerard Butler… and 50 of her closest friends. During the day, Jen and Gerry kept their distance, but at night… Who knows?!?! An "insider" claims that Jen is really looking forward to her upcoming promotional tour for The Bounty Hunter with Gerard. Moving on: Remember the "Manzilla" spread in Us? There's one here, too, but it's called "Big Love." Miley Cyrus' parents, Billy Ray and Tish, have been spending "more and more time apart." Miley recorded "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" with Bret Michaels, and Tish and Bret "hit it off in a big way." Bret's rep says that "Tish and Bret spend a lot of time in the studio together," though he adds it's "strictly business." Blind item! "Which TV and movie star has been cheating on his wife for years? His makeup artist was his latest conquest, but he owes many other ladies Valentine's Day presents!" Hmm, well, here is a list of the dudes in the VD movie. Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush had a "Super Bowl blowup" because she kept grabbing him to pose for photos, and saying things like "Don't forget to smile!" A "source" says he snapped at her: "I just won the Super Bowl. This is my night, not yours." Then she cried. Yet another story claims that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's kissing and hugging at the Super Bowl was "all for show." Body-language expert Toni Coleman says: "To me this feels contrived and exaggerated. You can tell these two are actors." There's a two-page piece on John Edwards "temptress" Rielle Hunter: She was also sleeping with Jeff Goldblum while she was with Edwards, and even thought maybe Goldblum, and not Edwards, was the father of her child. Sandra Bullock has not been able to conceive, and it's "heartbreaking" for her. Jamie Lynn Spears' new boyfriend, James Watson, is "equal parts playboy and good 'ol boy," says a source. Friends are telling her it won't last. Lastly: Rihanna has been cast in her first starring role in About Face, a movie about "a fashion designer who has to change her ways to win the heart of the man she loves." Yes, as the mag points out, this plot is similar to the 1975 Diana Ross film Mahogany. Rihanna has "quietly" been taking acting classes and learning to emote. We have one question for her: Do you know where you're going to???

Fyrir fólk sem á að vera hætta saman eru þau frekar vinaleg svo ekki sé meira sagt

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Vínillinn er ekki dáinn - Gotta Groove Records - "Groove With Us"

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Ok!
"I Still Love Jen — But I Can't Leave The Kids!" Basically the entire story is on the cover. The mag did an interview with Ian Halperin, who wrote the unauthorized book Brangelina: The Untold Story. He's "confirmed" with "sources" that Angie and Brad have split but will do that Madonna/Guy Ritchie thing where they don't talk about it. Months from now, they'll announce that they have broken up. A source says that Brad has been telling his friends, "I'm still in love with Jen." Once, he was having a fight with Angie, and she punched him in the arm and asked, "You're still in love with Jen, aren't you?" Allegedly Shiloh covers her ears and tells them to stop fighting. As you may know, Brad recently had his beard trimmed. Dr. Gilda Carle, a shrink who does not treat Brad, says: "A beard very often signifies hiding from whatever is around you — all the people and all the problems. Trimming it suggests that he's willing to be clearer and more honest about everything that's going on in their relationship. It sends a message without confrontation." Pay attention, Santa Claus! The only other item of interest in this issue is the news that Katie Holmes has taken Suri to see Mary Poppins on Broadway twice. A source says: "Mary Poppins had Suri entranced. She was already interested in acting, because of her parents, but watching the play has made her even more determined to pursue it." Suri is three! At that age you may be determined to be an actress, but you are also determined to eat Play-Doh.

 

 

Star
"Angie & Johnny!" This story is littered with catty and animalistic references to Angie, like "Angelina Jolie has sunk her claws into Johnny Depp." She has also "set a trap to snare him" and there's nothing Brad Pitt can do about it. Angie and Johnny had a read-through for their new movie, The Tourist, which includes a "torrid nude shower scene." A "source" says Angie was "a shameless tease" and"smiled coyly at [Johnny] the entire time he was reading." And "the sparks were really flying." Angie insisted that she needed to meet with Johnny alone at his house: "She's already spent many hours there, drinking red wine with Johnny, under the guise of preparing for this movie. Angie knows exactly what she is doing." Says a source. She's also "bombarding him" with "flirty texts" and "burning up the phone line." An "insider" says Brad found a copy of Angie's script with "intimate notes" written on it. When he went to confront Angie, she was on the phone with Johnny! Moving on: Reese Witherspoon secretly hooked up with Gerard Butler a few times at his house in L.A., but she's not interested in taking it any further and doesn't want Jake to know. Hopefully he doesn't read Midweek Madness! Blind item: "Which kooky actor has a taste for tootsies? He tells his wife he's off to poker night, then visits a massage parlor where employees let him play with their feet, No sex, just toe-sucking." Mark Wahlberg parked outside Babies R Us and used the expectant mothers spot. A source says: "A woman yelled at him, but he pretended he didn't hear." Glee's Cory Monteith left his SAG award in the bathroom, and a friend put a roll of toilet paper on it as a joke. Cory decided to leave it there: "Now the award has form and function." Matt Damon had a few cocktails at the Sunset Tower hotel, and a source says he was totally making a scene — he was dancing around the table, singing a made up song about not letting friends drive drunk. "Everyone was laughing but his wife was rolling her eyes." The mag says Eminem is back with Kim, and she's pregnant, but that his rep denies it. Lastly: Jamie Lynn Spears, 18, is dating a businessman from Louisiana who is 28. They're trying to keep it secret.

 

Us
"Bachelor Dirty Secrets." Gross. All we had to do was turn to page 77 and see a picture of a woman wearing nothing but bikini bottoms, a Burberry scarf and Uggs to know that this story is an icky waste of time. Moving on: Lindsay Lohan has been in discussions about starting something like The View, but geared towards teens and twenty-something women. "She thinks she can relate to young girls," says a source. When asked to comment, Lindsay told Us the TV show rumor was "not true." If you're wondering what to play for that special someone on Valentine's Day.

 

Life & Style
"Carrie's Dream Wedding." Carrie Underwood's engagement means the editors can plan their idea of her dream wedding. The mag asked some of Carrie's fave designers for sketches of wedding gowns they would make for her if asked, and interviewed her stylist and Constantine Maroulis from Idol for random quotes and imagined a guest list (Randy Jackson, Taylor Swift, Keith Urban.) In a word: Snooze. Moving on: Katie Holmes went out to dinner when she was in Utah for the Sundance Film Festival, so the story here is about how she "broke free" and had a glass of wine. Praise Xenu! After being Photoshopped on Ok!, Kourtney Kardashian would like for you to know: "I haven't lost the baby weight and I'm not in any rush." Sadie's post was mentioned in this story! Also inside: John Mayer is still calling Jennifer Aniston. Someone overheard her telling friends at dinner that John's on tour and has all this extra time on his hands, so he calls her. The source says Jen isn't even flattered by the attention and doesn't give a crap. Paraphrasing here! Lastly: Even though Brad and Angie were affectionate at the DGA awards, when he would fill his glass with wine, she would glare at him pointedly. Then he'd put the glass down... But drink it later.

In Touch
"Angelina Threatens Brad."
Brad is "living" in his "bachelor pad" in the Hollywood Hills — you know, the house other news outlets claim he purchased to expand the Jolie-Pitt compound — and an "insider" says: "Angelina calls Brad at weird hours and sobs and screams for so long it's been waking her whole house up. She screamed the other night that she would rather not live than see him go back to Jen." Angie's rep denies the story, but the story goes on! Angelina also called Brad and told him she'd taken half a bottle of sleeping pills, and that she'd swallow the rest with a bottle of vodka. "Brad raced over to the house, frantic," says the insider, "but she was just sitting there with the twins, watching films as if nothing had happened." Mind games! Meanwhile, Angie is "drowning her sorrows in white wine" and "barely eating," living on "vitamins, coffee and fruit." The mag claims: "Ever since Brad moved into his bachelor pad, he has been calling Jen dozens of times a day." Riiiiight. Next: Katie Holmes has been telling "everyone" that she will get pregnant this year. The magazine asks, "Is she showing already?" even though she is not pregnant ! The next page, titled "Baby Fever!" has pictures of Khloe Kardashian with a slight curve to her abdomen and Eva Longoria wearing baggy clothes, along with speculations about their respective uteri. Also inside: Jennifer Garner is worried about Ben Affleck being back on the booze. A source claims that Taylor Swift was seen "getting cozy" in a recording studio with John Mayer. She was sitting in his lap, with her arms around him, and was talking in his ear. A source also claims that Taylor recently spent the night in John's hotel suite — she even ordered mid-morning room service! Since John writes for Gawker now, perhaps he will comment? Reese Witherspoon had a dinner date with Hollywood agent Him Toth, and "it took them forever to say goodbye." There are dark, fuzzy stakeout pictures of Reese and the dude kissing good night, but it appears that she merely kissed the air near his cheek, as is Hollywood custom. One thing we do like in this issue? Celebrity kids in tutus ! Finally, in a Photoshop Of Horrors mindfuck, we present "How Experts Say The Stars Would Look Without Surgery." Poorly done — lines in bizarre places — and the message here seems to be, thank God they had surgery — the alternative is worse.

 

 

Vanity Fair Oscar Cover - aftur umdeild í henni bandaríkjunum engin blökkukona þarna

 

Planet New York

Planet New York by Sam Rohn