Aha

A friend and her husband were participating in a blood drive, and as part of the prescreening process, an elderly volunteer was asking some questions.

"Have you ever paid for sex?" the woman asked my friend's husband sweetly.

Glancing wearily over at his wife who was trying to calm a new baby and tend to several other children milling around her, "Oh yes", he sighed, "Every time."

 

 

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"

Woman: "It's in the phone book."

Man: "But I don't know your name."

Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

 

A guy walks into a bar. Guy: "Hey, barkeeper, give me a beer." Barkeeper: "Tell you what, if you can make that horse out there laugh, I will give you a free beer and $500." So the guy walks outside and whispers to the horse. The horse laughs. The guy walks back in. Guy: "Where's my $500 and free beer?" Barkeeper: "Alright, double or nothing says you can't make that horse cry." The guy walks outside again. The barkeep chuckles to himself as he's cleaning a glass and misses what the guy does, but he hears the horse crying. The guy comes back in. Guy: "Alright, where's my $1000 and two free beers?" Barkeeper: "What did you say to make the horse laugh?" Guy : "I told him I have a bigger penis than him." Barkeeper: "What did you do to make him cry?" Guy: "I showed him."