The 2008 Darwin Awards

 
The 2008 Darwin Awards

Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the
Darwin Awards are bestowed, honouring the least
evolved among us.

Here is the glorious winner:
1.
When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his
intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach ,
California , would-be robber James Elliot did
something that can only inspire wonder. He peered
down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This  time it worked.

2.
The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger
in a meat-cutting machine and, after a little
shopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company expecting
negligence sent out one of its men to have a look
for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost
a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3.
A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a
space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago
returned with his vehicle to find a woman had
taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4.
After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a
Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental
patients he was supposed to be transporting from
>Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to
admit his incompetence, the driver went to a
nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there
a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to
the mental hospital, telling the staff that the
patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre
fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3  days.
5.
An American teenager was in the hospital
recovering from serious head wounds received from
an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
injuries, the lad told police that he was simply
trying to see how close he could get his head to a
moving train before he was hit.

6.
A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20
bill on the counter, and asked for change. When
the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a
gun and asked for all the cash in the register,
which the clerk promptly provided. The man took
the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20
bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he
got from the drawer... $15. [If someone points a
gun at you and gives you money, is a crime  committed?

7.
Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty
badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder
block through a liquor store window, grab some
booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and
heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder
block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on
the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor
store window was made of Plexiglas.  
 The whole  event was caught on videotape.

8.
As a female shopper exited a New York convenience
store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk
called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to
give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
Within minutes, the police apprehended the
snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back
to the store. The thief was then taken out of the
car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To
which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her.
That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9.
The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a
man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti ,
Michigan , at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded
cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he
couldn't open the cash register without a food
order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk
said they weren't available for breakfast.  
 The man, frustrated, walked away.
  [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY  AWARD WINNER]

10.
When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a
motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much
more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the
scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a
motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman
said that the man admitted to trying to steal
gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the
motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of
the vehicle declined to press charges saying that
it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

 In the interest of bettering mankind, please share
these with your friends and family... unless of
course one of these individuals by chance is a
distant relative or long-lost friend. In that
case, be glad they are distant and hope they
remain lost.

*** Remember... They walk amongst us!!! ***