The absolute best Little Johnnie joke

  Little Johnnie's neighbour had a baby.
Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.
When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnnie's family was invited over to see the baby.Before they left their house, Little Johnnie's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.

His dad also told him that if he so much mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home.
Little Johnnie told his dad he understood completely.When Johnnie looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby."
The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnnie.Johnnie said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see?"

"Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision."

"That's great", said Little Johnnie,"coz he'd be fucked if he needed glasses".  

Athugasemdir

[Þorsteinn Gunnarsson, 14.12.2007 kl. 12:03]

Elska Little Johnnie brandara... og þessi er í sérstöku uppáhaldi:

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question.

"Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None.”

replied Johnny, "'cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher. "But I like the way you are

thinking."

Little Johnny said, "I have a question for you now. If there were three women eating ice cream cones, one licking her cone,

the second biting her cone, and the third one sucking her cone, which one is married?" "Well," said the teacher nervously, "I

guess the one sucking the cone?" "No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger. But I like the way

you are thinking.

Another day in class the teacher brought a bag full of fruit. "Now class, I'm going to reach into the bag and describe a piece

of fruit, and you tell what fruit I'm talking about."

"Okay, first: it's rounded, plump and red." Of course, Johnny raised his hand high, but the teacher wisely ignored him and

picked Deborah, who promptly answered "An apple." "No Deborah, it's a beet, but I like your thinking.

Now, for the second: It's soft, fuzzy, and colored red and brownish. Well, Johnny is hopping up and down in his seat trying

to get the teacher to call on him. But she skips him again and calls on Billy. "Is it a peach?" "No, Billy, I'm afraid it's a

potato. But I like your thinking.

Here's another: it's long, yellow, and fairly hard." By now Johnny is about to explode as he waves his hand frantically. The

teacher skips him again and calls on Sally. "A banana," she says. "No," the teacher replies, "it's a squash, but I like your

thinking."

Johnny is kind of irritated now, so he speaks up loudly. "Hey, I've got one for you teacher; let me put my hand in my pocket.

Okay, I've got it: it's round, hard, and it got a head on it." "Johnny!" she cries. "That's disgusting!" "Nope," answers Johnny,

"it's a quarter, but I like the way you're thinking.