Hjálpaðu mér upp mér finnst ég vera drukkna

Britney Spears is Being dropped by her divorce attorney, Laura Wasser!

The fallen pop star paid a visit to Wasser earlier this week and looked extremely distraught as she left her offices.

Wasser’s resignation couldn’t have come at a worse time for Spears, as her ex-husband Kevin Federline ramps up his efforts to get primary physical custody of Tater Tot and Small Fry.

TMZ is reporting that Wasser has put Spears in touch with other lawyers who could help the former singer in her ongoing custody battle, but Spears has become so reliant on Wasser that she doesn’t like any of the alternatives.

Poor Brit.

She’s lost in this world. Drowning.

Er verið að tala um herra Pitt !!

Greg Behrendt’s entertaining talk show has been snatched off the tube, but the New York Times bestseller that made the former stand up comic an authority on helping television’s Carrie Bradshaw understand the psyche of non-committal men is coming to the big screen. Jennifer Aniston has signed on to star in the Drew Barrymore directed “He’s Just Not That Into You.”

Brotið nef

Jessica Simpson has broken her nose while filming a number of action scenes on the set of her upcoming flick ‘Major .’ The film features the story of a spoiled socialite who joins the military after failing to make into big in motion pictures. “I was running with a gun over my head and fell and either fractured or broke my nose,” the actress explains of the incident.

KRAZYYYYYY

Við verðum bara að vona að þetta sé haugalýgi

Öldrun

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking,
"surely I can't look that old?" well......you' ll love this one!"

I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new
dentist. I noticed his dds diploma, which bore his full name.  Suddenly, I
remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in
my high school class some 40-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that I
had a secret crush on, way back then?

Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought.  This
balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have
been my classmate...... hmmm........ .or could he???

After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan park high
school. "Yes. Yes, I did. I had a mustang." he gleamed with pride.

"When did you graduate?" I asked.  He answered, "in 1956. Why do you ask?"
"You were in my class!" I exclaimed.

He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, old, wrinkled s-o-b asked, "What
did you teach?"

Bangsarnir þrír og fyrirtíðaspennan!

Það var sólríkur morgunn í skóginum þegar bangsafjölskyldan reis úr
rekkju einn daginn.
Bangsi litli tölti inn í eldhús, settist við morgunverðarborðið, leit
ofaní litlu skálina sína og sá að hún var tóm. "Hver hefur borðað
grautinn minn?" spurði hann, ámátlegum rómi.
Bangsapabbi leit ofan í stóru skálina sína og sá að hún var líka tóm.
"Hver hefur borðað grautinn minn?" urraði
hann.

Bangsamamma leit upp frá eldhúsbekknum og sagði:
"Ó mæ god, hvað oft þurfum við að fara í gegnum þetta?

Bangsamamma vaknaði fyrst allra.
Bangsamamma vakti ykkur hina.
Bangsamamma hitaði kaffið.
Bangsamamma tæmdi uppþvottavélina og raðaði upp í skápa. Bangsamamma
lagði á borðið. Bangsamamma hleypti kettinum út, tæmdi kattabakkann
og gaf kisu að éta og drekka.
Bangsamamma fór út og sótti blaðið.

Og nú, þegar þið drattist loksins á fætur og parkerið ykkar súru
trýnum  við morgunverðarborðið...
hlustið vel, þetta  segi ég bara eitt skipti í viðbót:


 

""ÉG ER EKKI BÚIN AÐ BÚA TIL HELVÍTIS GRAUTINN ENNÞÁ!!!!""

Ekki batnar það

While she spends her days scrubbing toilets and doing dishes, Lindsay Lohan’s lawyer occupies himself with his client’s legal mishaps.  The latest edition to LiLo’s rap sheet is a lawsuit for her infamous post-Promises car chase.

The Mean Girls actress was sued Tuesday in a Los Angeles Court for assault and negligence by a passenger in the car that she pursued in a high-speed chase.

Amma gamla

Lawyers should never ask grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the
answer.

In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, an
elderly grandmother to the stand.
He approached her and asked; "Mrs.. Jones, do you know me?"


She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since
you were a young boy, and frankly, you're a big disappointment to me. You
lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk about them behind their
backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize
you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I
know you."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the
room and asked, "Mrs.. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster. He's lazy, bigoted, and has a drinking problem. He can't build a
normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in
the state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different
women. One of them was your wife. Yes I know him."

The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both lawyers to approach the bench and in a quiet
voice said:

"If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the
electric chair."

LOKSINS meðferð

After a false alarm last week that she had checked in to a treatment facility, Amy Winehouse has finally entered rehab.

The Mirror is reporting that the Rehab singer flew to a treatment center in America this past weekend to deal with an addiction to heroin and cocaine.

Wino’s husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, is also entering rehab with her for his own addictions.

The last straw for Amy’s family was when her best friend, Juliette Ashby, caught her smoking heroine on Friday night, just days after her scary drug overdose.

Winehouse’s father, Mitch, got into a huge fight with Blake’s parents.

The twosome eventually agreed to get treatment. They have surrendered their cell phones and cut off all contact with the outside world.

Rehab rarely works the first time, but hopefully it will stick with Amy - or at least guide her in the right direction.

Fengið frá PEREZ.

Allie er bara alls ekkert ...

FAKE frænka hennar Britney hún Alli fær stefnuna til að segja hvers konar móðir Britney er fyrir rétti  ( væntanlega ekkert of góð miðað við viðbrögðin hennar , en það er að koma í ljós að hún hefur logið sig inná fjölmiðla sem frænka hennar  en það er víst ekki rétt , þar sem hún er víst einungis vinkona hennar SMART