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Steven Gerrard, Jamie Carragher and Fernando Torres

Steven Gerrard, Jamie Carragher and Fernando Torres are killed in a car crash.

Ushered through the gates of Heaven they are stood before God at his bountiful table.

God turns to Stevie first. "To see if you are worthy to sit at my table I must question your belief - what do you believe Steven?"

Stevie answers - "football is the food of life".

"Very good" says God "you may sit on my left"

He asks the same question of Carragher. Jamie answers - "courage, honour and passion on the pitch".

"Very good" says God "you may sit on my right"

Finally God turns to Fernando Torres. "What is it you believe my son?

Torres replies - "I believe your sitting in my seat".

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Bette Midler (64)

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Manhattan-bound L train

Heppinn.

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