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In Touch
"Humiliated By Their Men."
No, actually — humiliated by In Touch! Anyway: Kourtney Kardashian is "haunted" by Scott Disick's past. According to the mag, Scott was known as hard partier, a serial cheater, and, as one high school acquaintance puts it, "a tool." Another source says: "Scott had a couple of nicknames in high school. One was Number One Scum and the other was STD." Scott apparently wore silver dog tags with the initials STD engraved on them… We're guessing his middle name Todd or something, but this is not clarified. Kim Kardashian is "desperate" to marry "before she turns 30" (she's 29) and is "pressuring" Reggie Bush (he's 25). Khloe Kardashian's husband Lamar Odom might be "using her" for publicity. A "friend" says: "Lamar wasn't even on the public radar until he married Khloe. Now he's getting endorsement deals left and right." Also, Khloe and Lamar are seeing a marriage counselor. Moving on: The story called "Why Is Jonathan Always On His Tippy-Toes?" is pictorial showing how Jonathan Rhys Meyers always stands on his toes. Breaking: Shiloh and Suri have "such different styles." .In Brad/Angie/Jen news, Brad's been in Europe while Angie has been filming, and Brad was spotted wearing an antique pendant necklace that Jen gave him for his 45th birthday. The mag reads: "Knowing that he can't see Jen for a while — and knowing that Angelina is setting up photo ops of their family — Brad wore Jen's special gift again in Paris." Ok, sure. The mag also declares: "Brad and Jen are soulmates." Sigh. Next: "They're Young & Thin But They Still Have Cellulite" is our absolute least favorite kind of tabloid piece. A plastic surgeon says: "Ninety percent of all women have cellulite," and the mag adds: "these youthful and fit celebs are no exception." The doctor emphasizes that no matter how much the stars work out, "females are prone to cellulite from a purely anatomical point of view." And yet the mag feels the need to print six close-up pictures of thighs and butts. Fuck that. We're not even going to tell who the stars are, because it's just cruel that such a story exists. Lastly: Heidi Montag will have a "baby for publicity." A source says that Heidi and Spencer have "already secured a deal with a tabloid" to chronicle "every step of her impending motherhood." "She's not even pregnant yet, but she and Spencer have already signed the papers," says an insider. "They're planning staged photos every step of the way — the pregnancy, the birth, and of course, the first baby picture."

 

Us
"How She Tricked Him."
After running stories about how Vienna from The Bachelor is a slutty gold-digging ex-Hooters hustler, the magazine is now revealing that she had a strategy all along, and "became the woman Jake wanted," lied to him, and shook her boobs in his face to win. Let's move on. We like this weird quote from Ellen: "I can control Anderson Cooper's thoughts with my mind. Usually I think, 'Anderson, wear a tight T-shirt.'" Jon Gosselin is angry about Kate Gosselin being on Dancing With The Stars, because it will keep her away from the kids for days at a time, but she still won't let him have extra custody. Kourtney Kardashian was overheard talking about breastfeeding during a business meeting with some dude: "If I have to feed him, I just whip it out. If I'm doing it in public and someone doesn't like it — don't look. I don't give a shit. I have Khloe to remind me when it's gone too far." Lastly: Jennifer Lopez was overheard saying to Marc Anthony at the SNL wrap party: "Ooh, Papi, look!" as she ordered mini ice cream cones.

 

Ok!
"Bachelor Wedding Album."
You know, we do not care about these people at all, but Ok! got some nice pictures, so if you are interested, you'll see lots of wedding photos and relatives of people you know from TV. The bride's dress was Monique Lhuillier; the shoes were green and Manolo Blahnik and matched the bridesmaids' shoes; Ken Paves did the hair, etc. etc. Yawn. Moving: In a hotel room interview, Lindsay Lohan says: "When I was in school, I didn't drink or even try alcohol —" (Didn't you leave school when you were like 14?) " — until I was probably 18. I'm not lying! I'm just made out all the time to be the bad guy!" The reporter states: "It's probably because you were stopped for DUI twice and went to rehab three times." LL answers: "The second two times I went to rehab, to be honest with you, it was a court thing, an obligation. I had to do it to stay out of jail. And I took responsibility for that. And it was like a vacation." Then she's asked how rehab was like vacation, and Lindsay says: "I met some great people. It was nice to shut everyone off for a while. I had put myself in situations that I probably should have thought through. But rehab was a positive experience. There are a lot of people that I know who should really be in rehab now — not for drugs or alcohol abuse, but just to learn about life." She probably means is everyone needs a little therapy, but it's way more hilarious the way she phrases it. Lastly, Kimora Lee Simmmons shares her diet and workout tips, and when asked if she and Djimon Hounsou will have another baby, quips: "Definitely. We practice all the time, and it's a lot of fun."

Star
"Toxic Love!"
Doesn't the cover leave you with the impression that "toxic love" is something awesome? The ladies look so happy! An insider says: "The Kardashians come across as best friends, but behind the scenes it's all competition and one-upsmanship." Kim is obsessed with getting married, but is afraid that Reggie is cheating on her. Khloe sees all of the attention Kourtney is getting with her newborn and wants one too, but Lamar would like to wait until they've been married for a year. (Have they even known each other for a year?) Scott Disick, as you may have heard, is a tool and a jerk! When Kourtney and Scott were at a party in Las Vegas, he was ignoring Kourtney and was overheard telling a friend: "I have a roll of hundreds burning a hole in my pocket that I'd love to spend at a strip club." Klassy! Moving on: Someone sold pictures of Rihanna's 22nd birthday party to the magazine. In the shots Rihanna is smushing cake into Matt Kemp's face, getting a lap dance from porn star Bridget The Midget (which sounds trashy but looks fun and cute) and wearing a tiara while holding a cup which seems to read, "It's My Birthday, Bitch." A plastic surgeon who does not treat Yoanna House believes she had lower eyelid surgery and plumped her lips in addition to getting implants, and that's why she looks different. Mary-Kate Olsen recently broke up with her boyfriend, and was seen making out with Josh Hartnett, but now she's "getting close" to Samantha Ronson. An insider says: "Mary-Kate thinks Sam is very cool, and Sam thinks likewise." M-K and Sam's relationship is described as "very flirty" and "eyebrow-raising." Is Kelly Rutherford "going for" her Gossip Girl husband Matthew Settle? Maybe. They're both single now. Blind item! "Which starlet's rep for having sticky fingers precedes her? While hosting a recent bash at a hotel, she had to put down a credit card, although she was only using the room to get ready. No mini-bar is safe from this girl!" While drinking at a bar in New York, Justin Timberlake requested pickle juice as a chaser for his shots. They didn't have any, oddly enough, but a staffer "raced" across the street to the store and bought some. Lastly: Ginny Weasley from Harry Potter is dating Caius from New Moon, and if you know what that means, then you care about that stuff.

Life & Style
"Why Is Angelina Turning Shiloh Into A Boy?"
The first chunk of this story is about how Shiloh's haircut "ignited a firestorm of controversy" and includes quotes from commenters on Perez Hilton (?!?) and other sites. A caption in the story notes that in 2009, Shiloh had a "serious sense of style" yet was "trendy but still feminine." But now? Her haircut is "shockingly short" and she is a "total tomboy." Apparently when Brad was on Oprah a while back, he mentioned that Shiloh wanted to be called John. The mag reads: "It doesn't appear and Brad and Angie are forcing Shiloh into boys' clothes" but "Angelina could easily persuade Shiloh to wear something more feminine" and "in the end, the parent is responsible for how a toddler dresses." Then there's a quote from Glenn Stanton, Director of Family Formation Studies at the conservative organization Focus On The Family. He says: "Little girls have never been women before." O RLY? "They need help. They need guidance of what that looks like. It's important to teach our children that gender distinction is very healthy." The mag adds: "Though he says there's nothing wrong with girls not wearing dresses, he believes parents should make sure they still look feminine." Dude continues: "Parents need to be the parents and guide their children. You don't want people asking, 'Are you a little boy or a little girl?' That will start to sink in." The mag also talks to a psychotherapist named Jonathan Alpert, who says: "It's hard for me to believe that a three-year-old would say, 'Cut my hair like this.' I think Brad and Angelina are trying to defy gender norms or cultural or social norms. To make a social statement via a child is unhealthy." One last comment from Jennifer Aniston's former stylist! Sam Saboura says: "[Shiloh] looks very chic and French. In Europe, girly doesn't always mean pink and frilly." Bless you, sir. Next: There's a new book called Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie: The True Story by a British celebrity author named Jenny Paul. She interviewed Angelina's late mother's former boyfriend, and Angelina's old "confidant," rock singer Texas Terri. In the book, the sources say Angelina was sleeping with Jonny Lee Miller and Ralph Fiennes when she met Brad Pitt and she'd just ended a four-month relationship with Colin Farrell, because he was becoming obsessed with her, and he drank too much and wasn't a good role model for Maddox. An insider claims that Angelina and Ralph Fiennes met for regular S&M sex sessions at a hotel in London. "They would order room service and watch the news together in bed afterward." Also, when Angelina appeared in the 1997 Rolling Stones video for "Anybody Seen My Baby?" she was sleeping with Mick Jagger, even though he was married to Jerry Hall at the time. Crazytown. Next we learn that Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart attended a movie premiere together and KStew actually smiled and worked the red carpet, "totally out of character for her." John Cusack is dating Brooke Burns. A plastic surgeon who doesn't treat her thinks Sandra Bullock had a Botox brow lift, a liquid face lift using Radiesse to lift the cheeks, and Juvederm injections to fill her naso-labial folds. But, he adds, "she looks natural and youthful." Lastly, there's a two-page spread of stars with Avatar makeovers, but what really caught our eye was a makeup page in which Beyoncé represents "dark" skin.

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8 stræti í New York í gær

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Er RUV að sinna menningarhlutverki sínu? #2 Óskar Jónasson

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Ok!
"Secret Reunion."
The dude from The Bachelor and this lady who left the show because she had to go back to her job at Facebook "melted into each others' arms" in a "secret" reunion behind the scenes "at the dramatic taping of Bachelor: Women Tell All." Snooze! In Jolie-Pitt "news," the kids went to Venice and ate gelato. Beatrice Sennaro[sic], who owns a gelateria, says that the kids wanted big cups, but "mom said no," so she gave them a small portion in a medium cup. Crafty! Lastly, you know how in these "What I Ate Today" stories, celebs are always subsisting on grapefruit and grilled chicken over salad? Well Julianne Hough went to the Cheesecake Factory with her sister and they ate "avocado egg rolls, fried calamari, artichoke and spinach dip, chicken pot stickers, Thai chicken wraps and a piece of Snickers cheesecake." Including her breakfast of eggs, fruit and a bagel, she had 3,286 calories that day. Stars! Just like us!

 

 

Life & Style
"The Twins Are Out Of Hiding."
Knox and Vivienne Jolie-Pitt have never been seen in the U.S.! There's no story here, just a crapload of pix. In Venice, the kids had black cherry, vanilla, caramel and strawberry gelato, etc. Oh, look, another interview with Beatrice Zennaro (spelled differently here!), who owns La Gelateria Lo Squero. She says: "The kids really enjoyed their ice cream." She also says: "[Brad and Angie] seemed very peaceful, happy. I read in the newspapers that they were having problems, but it didn't seem the case." Oh, and also? The twins, with their divine healing powers, brought Angie and her dad back together. Moving on: Gerard Butler went partying in Rio just a week after being in Cabo for Jen's 41st birthday. The copy reads: "Single Jen had chosen not to join Gerard on his on-the-prowl vacation — leaving her to start her 41st year without a man in her life." Sob! Next: Kourtney Kardashian's baby daddy Scott Disick was out partying recently when a "heavy-set female fan" came up to him to say hello. Scott said: "Hey, how are you doing? Lose some weight." Asshole. In other news, don't you love how Charlie Sheen's nanny appears to be glaring at pictures of Charlie and Brooke. The story about Lady Gaga's "meltdown" is really about how she is "exhausted" from touring and devastated by Alexander McQueen's death. "Nicole's Dream Wedding" is just an excuse to print pictures of white dresses and glittery accessories.

In Touch
"Deal With The Devil."
Scott Disick is Keeping Up With The Kardashians' "breakout star." Which means Kourtney's "trapped" in a "loveless relationship she has no way of getting out of." A "friend" says: "Kourney's never been more rich or famous in her life, but unfortunately, she's never been more miserable. Staying with Scott is good for her bank account, but he treats her like dirt, and she's growing unhappier by the day." Moving on: Kendra loves her baby, but hates her body. She says that her breasts are larger now that she is breast feeding, and that she wants a breast reduction. Hmm, seems like she doesn't realize that once she stops breast feeding her cup size will go down? Nicole Richie and Joel Madden MIGHT get married at Lionel Richie's mansion. Or in Cabo San Lucas. Lionel Richie MIGHT write a song for Nicole, which Joel MIGHT sing at the reception. The mag has picked out gowns for Nicole and flower girl dresses for Harlow. Next: Brad Pitt has been "torn away" from Jennifer Aniston. Poor thing had to go to Italy. There, Brad and Angie "put on a lot of awkward, slow poses" that "look forced" because Angelina had been told to "try and repair her public image" before filming on The Tourist started. Angelina took Brad to Venice because that way, it's hard for him to call Jen, due to the time difference. But um, doesn't he live in France most of the year? Anyways, a "friend" says it hurts Jen to know Brad is suffering. Because there's nothing sadder than having to eat gelato with your life partner and kids. Speaking of the kids, the mag asks: "Why aren't they in school?" Breaking: Suri travels the globe with her blankie (Also inside: Matthew Fox cheated on his wife of 17 years with a stripper in Oregon, where he just built a home. The young lady's name is Stefani Talbott, and she gave an "exclusive" interview in which she says that she slept with him two times in the past year — and lost her job because the club has strict rules about dating customers. Here's how she describes their encounter: "He had been making fun of the fact that I had my nipples pierced, and he said that he was going to 'take care of that.' He got a toolbox and tried to take my nipple rings out with a wrench, but it didn't work." The mag continues: "After that, one thing lead to another." Ooh, did he fix her car? No. "They had sex twice." She says: "He didn't tell me to keep it a secret or anything. He didn't even use protection. He didn't seem concerned at all." Later she found out he was married, but slept with him again anyway. She tells the mag: "I couldn't believe I was having sex with someone's husband and father." The 25-year-old adds: "He was my mom's favorite on Party Of Five. Scott Wolfe was my favorite." Finally: Ellen is making "diva demands" on American Idol. She's insisting that Portia de Rossi be a guest judge and asking for a Mercedes as a sign-on bonus. Plus, she wants to do appearances with Randy so people will take her seriously, dawg.

Star
"Back In Love"
Despite his partying and her announcement that she wanted open relationship, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are in love. They're in Venice and, according to a source, "the change of scene and the fact that they're all together in one place has done wonders. Angie believes she can actually be happy with Brad again." Brad reached out to Jon Voight because, "he thought that if Angelina and Jon could forgive each other, then it would help his own relationship with her. After all, Angie's dad is the one who caused so many of her issues with men." Gelateria owner Beatrice Zennaro says: "Brad bought Angelina a lemon ice in a cup, and a caramelo for one of the babies. You can tell they have a strong love for each other." Moving on: Casey Aldridge's family is pushing him to take Jamie Lynn Spears to court because they think if he fights for custody, he could get money out of JLS. A "Spears insider" says: "His family told him he could be another Kevin Federline and rake in the cash by being a stay-at-home dad." Blind item! "Which quirky actress slept her way to a role on a long-running hit show? Now that there's talk of a movie version, she's offering the series creator more sex, even though she's married." Jennifer Aniston bought a $3,000 telescope, and a "friend" says "she's always looking to expand her horizons." You mean she's not looking for Brad on his motorcycle, finally coming to profess his undying love? Huh. Kelly Rutherford was hanging on Chace Crawford during a fashion week party and she said: "This is one of those guys. If you go out with him, you don't have to worry about dressing him — you want to undress him." Jessica Simpson had margaritas with a "hunky" actor named Evan Hart and an eyewitness says Evan had his arm around her, and even kissed her, OMG. There are pictures here of Vicky from RHOC kissing a 25-year-old college student two weeks after she renewed her vows with her husband. Finally: "Heidi Montag's boobs are fake, but the feelings she has for the doctor who surgically enhanced her are all too real." An insider says: "Heidi has known Dr. Frank Ryan for years, but lately, she's totally crushing on him and comes up with any excuse she can to stop by his office." Spencer is "shocked" and "jealous." 

 

 

Us
"How I Got Thin."
Kelly Osbourne is so damn likable! She lost 42 lbs., and the magazine calls this going "from flab to fab." she says: "Before dancing with the stars, I thought, I'm always going to be heavy. I'd better get used to it… After [the show], I started the Bar Method. I do it three times a week, not every day — I don't have that kind of dedication. Working out sucks, it's miserable. You sweat and you stink, but then you're done — and you see that just taking an hour three times a week can change you so much. It becomes addictive." She also says: "I took more hell for being fat than I did for being an absolute raging drug addict. I will never understand that." Later, she sighs: "Now I've actually read in some magazines that I'm too skinny. You can never ever ever win." Moving on: Photoshop of Horrors! Prince William had a full head of brown hair on the cover of a recent issue of Hello magazine. A St. James Palace source says: "The photos were retouched ever so slightly." Oh yes, quite. Ever so. Then the source drank a spot of tea and said, "Pip pip cheerio." In the story called "Brangelina's Big Italian Adventure," the mag claims that the gelato flavors eaten by the Jolie-Pitt kids were: "passion fruit for Pax, chocolate vanilla for Shiloh, and fruit cocktail and chocolate for Zahara and Maddox." But we just read something different! How much gelato did the kids eat?!? Why does every report claim that they consumed a different flavor??? And how can we be down with Beatrice Zennaro???? Next: A source says that at a BAFTA party in London, Josh Hartnett and Mary-Kate Olsen made out. In fact, "Josh pinned her against a wall and started making out with her in a dimly-lit corridor." Ed Westwick and Jessica Szohr couldn't be together for Valentine's Day, but he made sure she wasn't lonely: "My friend took her out," he says. The Kardashian story here is about how Kourtney and Scott say "Everything is amazing." Yawn. Creepy pix of the day? "Um, Yes, We're Siblings!" Lastly: Hilary Duff's "surprise" engagement took place in the privacy of a hotel room at the Four Seasons in Maui, yet there are photographs of the proposal and of Hilary taking a cameraphone shot of her ring.

Carrie Underwood “How I Met Your Mother” Sneak Peek VIDEO

   

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