Mjá

 

17

 

Would U Hit It ?

 

 

 

Second Opinion

 

Second Opinion

The doctor said, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches.  The bad news is that it will require castration.

You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache.  The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.'

Joe was shocked and depressed.  He wondered if he had anything to live for.  He had no choice but to go under the knife.  When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself.  As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person.  He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

He saw a men's clothing store and thought, 'That's what I need... A new suit.'

He entered the shop and told the salesman, 'I'd like a new suit.'

The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, 'Let's see... size 44 long.'

Joe laughed, 'That's right, how did you know?'

'Been in the business 60 years!' the tailor said.

Joe tried on the suit - it fit perfectly.

As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, 'How about a new shirt?'

Joe thought for a moment and then said, 'Sure.'

The salesman eyed Joe and said, 'Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.'

Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?'

'Been in the business 60 years.'

Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly.

Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, 'How about some new underwear?'

Joe thought for a moment and said, 'Sure.'

The salesman said, 'Let's see... size 36.'

Joe laughed, 'Ah ha!  I got you!  I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old.'

The salesman shook his head, 'You can't wear a size 34.  A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.'

New suit - $400

New shirt - $36

New underwear - $6

Second Opinion - PRICELESS!

Að fá FUGL í Golfi , myndir

A Helping Hand

Bob goes into the public restroom and sees this guy standing next to the urinal. The guy has no arms. As Bob is standing there taking care of business, he wonders to himself how the poor wretch is going to take a leak.

Bob finishes and starts to leave when the man asks Bob to help him out.

Being a kind soul, Bob says, Ah, OK, sure, I'll help you."

The man asks, Can you unzip my zipper?
Bob says, OK

Then the man says, Can you pull it out for me? Bob replies, UH, yeah, OK...

Bob pulls it out and it has all kinds of mold and red bumps, with hair clumps, rashes, moles, scabs and reeks something awful.

Then the guy asks Bob to point it for him, and bob points it for him. Bob then shakes it, puts it back in and zips it up.

The guy tells Bob, Thanks, Man, I really appreciate it.

Bob says, No problem, but what the hell's wrong with your penis?.

The guy pulls his arms out of shirt and says, I don't know, but I AIN'T TOUCHING IT...