Adam og Eva

One day while walking through the Garden of Eden, Adam looked up to the Heavens and spoke to God. "Father this place is great, but there is one thing missing".

"What is that my son", God answered.

"Well it would be nice to have a mate, I'm awfully lonely down here and all the other animal have mates but me. All I'm asking for is a creature more beautiful than the Garden, one who has a sex drive like mine, never has a headache and one who will cook, clean and be at my beckon call morning, noon and night." said Adam.

"Wow that's a tall order, but I have just such a creature in mind, but it's going to cost you". said God.

"Oh yeah, how much?" said Adam

"An arm and a leg." replied God.

Adam thought this over for quite some time and then asked "Well, what can I get for a rib?"

Magga G

 

Disturbing News 2 Me

Chrysler Building Acquired by Middle East Group

An Abu Dhabi sovereign wealth fund has acquired the Chrysler Building from a fund managed by Prudential Financial Inc. for an untold sum. It was learned last month that the Abu Dhabi group was considering buying a majority stake in the 1930 skyscraper for $80 million; Bloomberg news is now reporting that the deal is done. Middle Eastern investors have spent $1.8 billion this year buying commercial property in the U.S., more than other international buyers. “We're sending our money their way to purchase oil, and that money is coming back and buying our assets,” said Dan Fasulo, market analysis director at Real Capital.

Systir Lilo er betri söngkona en djö sökkar þetta samt illa

BRANGTWINS PITT STOPP

The golden chosen twins are coming this Tuesday! Shit, instead of dusting off your Brangelina shrine, you should clean out your bomb shelter. I'm sure the presence of the twin messiahs will knock out electrical, gas and water lines. You better stock up on bottled water for your Kool-Aid.

According to InTouch (via DM), Angie Jo has scheduled her c-section for this Tuesday. A source said that when Angie first arrived at the hospital in Nice, France, she all nice and shit, but now she's turning into a real cunt. The source said, "She's starting to feel that the staff are starstruck and not attentive enough. She's throwing fits if she rings and they don't come quick enough."

Angie has also demanded the hospital serve her royal ass salmon even though it's not on the hospital menu. "I think she's in meltdown mode. She's been getting upset if there's not enough ice in her glass," said the source.

Those nurses better watch it. It only takes one phone call from Saint Angelina for them to spend the rest of eternity in hell. Seriously, I think God and Buddha are both in her T-Mobile Fave 5.

In other chosen ones news, a radio station in Canada is offering Brangelina $1 million cash if they name their messiahs Mauler and Rush. Mauler and Rush are the name of two DJs on HOT 89-9 in Ottawa, Canada. Actually, those are fucking perfect names, but this shit is never going to happen. Saint Angelina queefs out $1 million in cash. That ain't nothing to her.

In Touch

Búið að byrgja glugga Jolie

Bók bróðir hennar Madonnu vekur athygli

A memoir by Madonna’s brother claims the singer is a self-absorbed woman who thinks she is “the center of the universe.”

“I hope that it is Kabbalah’s lesson that she is not the center of the universe,” Christopher Ciccone writes in his 342-page book Life With My Sister Madonna, scheduled for release next Tuesday.

Christopher, forty-seven, once worked closely with his superstar sis, even designing and directing her 1993 Girlie Show Tour and servingg as director of her 1991 documentary Madonna: Truth or Dare.

Tekið af PC