Tarzan & Jane

 

 

When Jane initially met Tarzan in the jungle, she was attracted to him, and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex ?

 

"Tarzan not know sex" he replied. Jane explained to him what sex was.

 

Tarzan said "Oh,....Tarzan use knot hole in trunk of tree."

 

Horrified Jane said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly."

 

She took off her clothing and laid down on the ground. "Here" she said, pointing to her privates, "you must put it in here."

 

Tarzan removed his loin cloth, showing Jane his considerable manhood, stepped closer to her and kicked her in the crotch!

 

Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity.

Eventually she managed to gasp for air and screamed,

 

"What did you do that for?"

 

Tarzan replied, "Check for squirrel"

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Twilight sýnishornið

Vinsælar vampírubækur

Brosið inní nóttina

Hvað fær fólkið borgað fyrir ómakið !!

You already know this, but I'll tell you anyway. Oprah richer than all of us combined times a hundred. Shit, times a hundred thousand. TVGuide has put out their annual list of the riches whores in television and it's no surprise that Oprah came out on top.

She reportedly makes $385 million a year in TV shit ALONE. No wonder Gayle King has stuck around so long. I'd lick Oprah's vag sweat too if she gave me even 1% of her fortune.

What the hell do you do with all that money? I mean, I feel like we should all get together and sue her for some stupid reason. We can sue her for being too rich. Her wealth has caused us to feel bad about ourselves and we can't work because of it. She'll probably settle right away. Then we can take our settlement, buy an island, build a lucite mansion with a chicken cutlet garden, hire a dozen cholitas to entertain us and live the rest of our lives in heavenly bliss. Make it happen.

Other on the list include:

Simon Cowell - $50 million a year
David Letterman - $35 million a year
Charlie Sheen - $825k per episode for "Two and a Half Men"
William Peterson - $600k per episode for "CSI"
Mariska Hargitay - $400k per episode for "Law & Order: SVU"
The Simpsons cast - $400k per episode
Kyra Sedgwick - $275k per episode for "The Closer"